他不知道是在给予还是在掠夺空。他撤下了防备与伪装,衣物丢在一边,让白色的光滑胴体在桌上铺展,这令阿贝多感到异样。当然不是因为桌面的坚硬冰冷或是对袒露性征部位产生羞耻。而是,阿贝多不得不去面对,下身的摩擦逐渐暴露出他机能上冗余的欲望以及他内里的空无一物。沟通内外的宣泄口都在吐露这种空洞。微张的嘴,颤抖的穴,干涩的音节与无意义的、破碎的水声。他的全身都在将空痴缠收紧,留在自己可怕的空洞中。
应当如何回应?应当如何表达?
压抑着喘息,与沉溺于交合的腰肢相反,阿贝多的眼里只有稚拙的茫然。本能正在不受控制。
在某个性器官成型之初,莱茵多特曾测试过它的性能,结论是与普通的人类女性没有区别。莱茵多特的手指在某个了然于胸的位置抠压数次后,透明的液体从阿贝多的前端与秘裂同时喷出,同时到来的还有击碎理智的巨大快感。
阿贝多在强烈的高潮中仰起头,咽喉处的十字星流出凝滞的金色,莱茵多特用棉签沾了些许,丢进试剂继续观察它性状的变化。
“这是……什么……”
这种快感是什么?这种行动的目的是什么?此时激荡内心的感触是什么?
莱茵多特没有回答,这些问题对她而言是不必要的。她已经起身擦手,另一只惯用手开始记录生理反馈的数值。
心率加速,瞳孔放大,大腿痉挛。这是莱茵多特不带情感的描述,也是阿贝多对自己的观测。
此时取而代之的是更粗糙的手。不是女性细腻的皮肤,不是握笔的手,不是创生的手。是男人的手,武人的手,破坏的手。是自己将殒命于其中的手。
手的主人用全身注视着阿贝多的一举一动。阿贝多的反应可以称得上有八九分忘情。湿润的舌头与空纠缠,刚刚喷出爱液的性器恬不知耻地在余韵中开合。正面的交合让脸贴得太近,阿贝多视野里只有晃动的模糊的金色,一切都是失焦的。难以命名的情感也已经失焦。他越发不明白空。
但他明白,即便此时空同样视野模糊,也能他看得一清二楚——他的一切致命处、隐秘处、脆弱处。阿贝多由身及心地震悚,他鲜明感受到空的视线的焦点确实没有停留在身体上,而是在位置稍远的,阿贝多的死期上。
“阿贝多,可以了吗?”
空的声音在他的耳畔响起,仿佛子弹上膛,绝无可能反抗它所宣告的命运。阿贝多的性器不知餍足地吸着贴上入口的阴茎,依然在流淌的爱液湿润着它的前端。阿贝多观测到自己的体温异于寻常,但此时他只觉得冰冷。
他点了点头。
扳机已经扣下,顺滑进入体内的异物开始热络地与空洞交流。封死司空见惯的天井,阿贝多配合空的动作,本能地窒息。丢弃在空洞中的无数困惑、恐惧、欣喜和疯狂被围堵在躯壳内,被反复推挤、压实、潦草盲目地混在一起。
这不该。没有人会把一堆甚至尚未命名的陌生材料全丢进元素烘炉里。为什么不拒绝?
拒绝什么?这场性事吗?
不。性并不陌生。听听空洞里微弱又破碎的疑问到底是什么吧。
——应当如何回应?应当如何表达?
原来如此,原来如此啊。
再无缝隙,空洞被压碎,一切问题突然消失。阿贝多抱紧空,露出了笑容。
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