VOX - Neighbourhood Who be Kevin

SPRAKRLE

Who is the Original Superstar?  I hear you asking that, so for all those blessed in to my neighbourhood you get the EXCLUSIVE DAILY MAIL MORAL OUTRAGE story.

Name: Kevin Welford-Costelloe
Also known as: Stabby Sally, Keviquah LaTrice Shareefah Jackson & Kamwhora.
Sex: Debateable.
Age: 23
Nationailty: British and Canadian (posh name and two passports).

Who be the famous Kevin Costelloe:
He wrote shit for reuters according to Google.

No, you bitch, who are you:
Oh right, well, I’m normally a quiet outgoingly shy individual who is rather interested in the same sex.  Then there are the “girls”.  Each one represents a part of my personality, Stabby Sally being the “I hate everything” side, Keviquah LaTrice Shareefah Jackson being the outrageous “sayin how it is” part and Kamwhora the obvious whore.  Although, unfortunately, pound strecher doesn’t sell decent drag queen shit so I’m as of yet getting these personas out in the local town around me (and trust me, it’s worth getting my face kicked in, this fucking place is unbelievably boring) to harass the elderly and get horrendiously pissed on discount lager meant for the under aged on one of the finer establishments.

But regardless of upseting the neighbours with my homosexual behaviour and ladyboy activities I am as I am.  If you can tolerate me you’ve got to realise I have no reasonable limits and that there is no barrier between my brain and my mouth, offensive tripe and comedy gold come flying out without any kind of editorial approval.

Stuff that offends you:
Not much really, the only things that do are animal and child abuse as it takes a sick person to take advantage or assault a creatue that hasn’t a fucking clue what you’re all about.  Other than that we’re cool.

Things you tolerate:
Humanity.

Things you can’t:
Dole-scum, council trash and baby culture.  Let me be specific, there is a difference between Council trash and people who live on a council estate, similarly with DOLE Scum.  I can’t stand people who fucking whinge about being hideously poor and in the same breath giving some shit poor excuse for not doing anything about it (like I’ve had my 8th child and their expensive, well stop fucking well having them for starters).

Then there is baby culture, people who are baby obsessed and feel their life is nothing unless they make baby, not just one, FUCKING LOADS OF BABIES.  Jesus christ, if you can’t have one as your womb is BARRON adopt, don’t spend my fucking organ transplant money on NHS funded IVF.

Oh I also find racists amusing, especially the ones who like to kick around Asians then go out for a curry.  HELLO SELF PARODY!

Speaking of self parodies, I fucking hate Westwood too.  If I saw that OAP making the hip hop in the street I’d fucking kick over his zimmer frame and take his gyro book.

People you like:
I like a wide variety of people, young and old, rich and poor, plank stupid and mensa smart, you just need to be a decent human and cringe occasionally when I blurt out something out that I probably shouldn’t have as we don’t need more people like me around here, otherwise you’d be stepping on my turf and I’ll “cap you homie” if you try and take my ho’s.

Further questions?
Comment or email me kevin@mmnet.be, jabber me kevin@mmn.im, AIM me M4dSquirrels.